Halle-fucking-lujah I'm alive! Yes it's official you're lovely, amazing, funny, obnoxious, crazy, funny, dirty-minded, and modst Rose is alive! But I'm on a dial up computer (yes those things still exist) so it's taken me over 30 minutes to load this so I can write. I will try to blog this week, but alas this computer loads so slowly that I resort to banging my head on the table till it loads (I might as well burn some calories while waiting, head banging burns 360 calories a hour!)

Anyways I'll be home to good ole home soon, my shower (I miss good water pressure!), and my laptop (wifi you are my one and only love, sorry in advance to any future husband or hookup). Anyways I'm going to go eat my weight in watermelon and fruit by the foots so bye guys!

I love you and I'm back!

-Rose <3

I am officially the biggest dork ever. No joke. I'm up in my room right now in shorts, knee socks, a beanie, jacket with the hood up on. I'm dancing around to the soundtrack from RENT (and I know every word), I'm writing poetry whilst wearing my reading glasses, and also listening to the soundtracks to the Harry Potter movies. just wanted to share that with you guys. Hehe. Oh and talking to dude I met on Omegle (no we are not sexting I swear on all my movie soundtracks, which is like a religious nut swearing on the bible. He's like my Dom sorta, except not. Oh well only Dina will get that one. ^^ And maybe Dom if he reads this, idk, I only talk to him to remind him not to fuck up with Dina (but that's what best friends are for :D, hehe).

Oh PS Dom if you are reading this and you do fuck up with Dina I will cut off your left nut (why do I always say the left nut, what's so special about it?)

Ok well my favorite song from RENT is about to come on (AKA Take Me Or Leave Me). So I'm going to sing my heart out, and break some windows in the progress. :) A very nerdy (and proud of it!) Rose signing out. Love you guys till the sun like combusts and 20 million years after that!

-Rose the Nerd/Dork/Oddball/Epically Awesome Weirdo! <3

I know, I know I haven't written anything in days. I'm a horrid person and am going to burn in hell. Tell me something I don' t know. Anyways I'm obviously writing right now, and for the next two weeks updates are going to be very rare. I'm out of town with a computer on dial up (ugh). So I'm not going to fuck with that evil PC at all unless something really cool/weird/awesome happens.

Ok now to the point of this blog. Drum roll please. *insert drum roll* What I am. I finally figured it out. I'm a liberal. I know some people are thinking "what the fuck does some kid know about liberals. She hasn't paid taxes in her life, and her whole idea of news is whatever CNN says." Well one I am an avid reader on CNN but at least I'm not reading Fox. I do read CNN but I also read a bunch of other sites and magazines. Yes I'm a nerd ^^.

I don't know why I'm, at almost fifteen, I'm talking about politics. Maybe it's because my parents have completely opposite beliefs and ideals. I'm pro-choice, they are pro-life. I'm for same sex marriage and equal rights, they are stuffing their beliefs about how being homosexual is a sin and if you're gay you are going to hell in my little brother's head. I'm atheist and they are bible thumping hypocrites (I mean they only go at like Christmas, and Easter.)

Now there was something else I wanted to say but I sorta forgot, so I'm gonna write until I remember. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. Anyways well I can't remember. So I'm just going to go. I'll post a funny picture later or a poem or something. A tree hugging, gay loving, feminist Rose signing out!

-Rose <3

Haha omg this had me cracking up. I got this off this site called http://iwastesomuchtime.com/. I realized I have way too much free time and nothing to do. That's probably why I spend so much time on random site. I go on a lot of sites.

I go to/ have an account on:

• Weebly
• Tumblr
• Fanfiction
• Booskie
• MLIA
• FML
• DBPB
• I Waste So Much Time
• Omegle
• TFLN

Yeah this has been my summer so far in a nutshell. I can't wait to go to camp, even if it's religious, I just need out of this house and away from mi familia. They are driving me MUY LOCA!!! Anyways if you're ever bored go check out one of those sites.

Love you guys, a very bored and tired Rose signing out.

-Rose <3

Ps I'll blank on Dina for not updating more, but she's got a new boy toy so she's busy getting wrapped around her little finger. Hehe, what ya'll know that's what girls do. Ok bye guys *hugs!*

It means healing will come. No matter what has happened to you in the past, sanationem veniet. Trust me, it will come. Not to say I'm completely healed. Some very bad an personal things have happened to me, and last night was the first night I ever admitted them to anyone. I've never told my mom, dad, grandma, brother, Alex, Tre, Kyla, or Cortne. I've only told Dina (thanks for listening girl. Love you!)

Anyways, we always have things from our past that are painful, dirty, and dark. I know I do. Sometimes you won't admit it to yourself (for almost nine years...), but once you find someone you trust enough and tell them, I don't know what it is but you instantly feel better. Like someone took this enormous weight off your chest. Trust me it's always best to find someone you trust and tell them. Carrying all that pain, hurt, and darkness is no way to live.

But healing isn't going to be instantaneous. There's that scared little girl or boy still afraid of the monster (the thing that hurt you). You gotta find that little kid in you and show them that the monster is gone. The monster can't hurt them. It will take a long time considering you buried that little kid deep inside, so they couldn't get hurt. It will take a long time, you won't be able to focus on any relationships besides the one with the little version of yourself.

I'm just avoiding dating or anything serious. I know because of what happened I put up walls to keep people out. Dina just finally got all the way in. No one else has made a dent in the slightest. I've got to learn how to love myself, and love normally. Not keeping everyone out. Until that happens I'll never have a good relationship. All I can say to my ex (if you are reading this) is that I'm sorry I even attempted having a relationship with you. I wish I had had this revelation with myself earlier. Maybe one day we can be friends, but I've got to learn how to be friends with myself.You waited 5 months or so for me to go out with you, you can wait a while longer. Anything I've said in this blog to you are retracted statements.

Back to my main point. It's always better to heal. If you have had something horrible happen to you the past, go find a trusted friend and tell them. It's always better. Ok I love you guys. Bye.

-Rose <3

She's broken and bleeding.
Left alone to die.
Is this what you wanted?
To see your once upon a time love,
broken,
bleeding,
and dying?

What happened?
Where did this once strong love,
so strong it could light a candle
from a thousand paces.
Where did it go?
Why did you let it go?

To her once upon a time love.
When did you stop loving her?
Left when she needed you the most.
You had her heart,
and threw it away.
It broke in that alley, in the rain.
Right where you left her.
The heavens crying "why, why leave her there to die.?"
Her heart is floating down to the sewer.

The rest of her is alone.
In that same alley.
She's broken,
lost,
alone.
Left alone,
when all she needs
is someone to care.
Not even love just care.

But you left her to die,
in that cold dark alley.
Her crying out for you,
and you walk away.

When did it stop?
What did she do?
She never stopped loving you,
until now.

She see you're not worth her tears.
She picks herself up off that dirty, cold, and wet alley.
She leaves her heart,
filled with her love for you.
She'll find another.

There's always another,
a better one.
She walks away.
from you, from her life with you.
She can and will do better.
Just wait and see.

One day you'll realize your mistake,
leaving her in that alley to die.
She came out stronger,
more alive.
She's left you in her dust.
This is her final goodbye.

"I never want to see you again.
You left me broken.
I'm all better now,
no thanks to you.
But you get no second chance.
Goodbye, and good riddance."

:'( God I'm like so sad right now. My poor friend Cassidy is in such a relationship pickle and I have no clue how to help her. Jesus fucking Christ. She is just in such a bad position right now, and I'm trying to help but I have no clue how. Every option and idea we've thought of the outcome is bad for all involved. The guy, her, and me. The guy is really sweet and with every idea he just ends up getting hurt. I don't want to hurt him, he really likes Cass, and he's an awesome guy. But every turn we make in trying to fix this just isn't working and I don't know what to do!!!!

God I can't do this. I just seriously need my girls over for a sleep over, a Kinect dance party, ice cream, a hug, and some serious retail therapy.  :(. Sorry for a not so good blog, if I feel better I'll write one later.

Love you guys, hope your relationships are going better than Cassidy's. I think this is the number one reason I'm glad to be single. I don't have to deal with bullshit relationship problems anymore. I think I'm going to stick to flings till I'm old like 25. I'm going to go eat some soy ice cream, and watch RENT. Bye.

< A very melancholic Rose </3 :(

Everyone take a moment of silence please. The last Harry Potter movie came out today, this is the end of my generation's childhood. Harry Potter has been coming out since we were babies. The first HP book came out when I was one, I grew up with this shit. All I can say is that Rowling need to write another hit like HP or another few books. I can't imagine life without begging my mom to let me go to a midnight showing of HP, not that she ever let me of course.

So everyone of my generation please, remember HP and when we grow up we need to make sure our kids know the joy of HP. That's all. I love you guys. A very sad Rose signing out.

-Rose </3

For me, and lots of other people, honesty is really important. It's the basis of all relationships. Whether one with you friends, parents, coworkers, bosses, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Honesty is the glue that holds a relationship together. Without it everything falls apart, really really fast and messily. I know sometimes it's hard to be honest, we've all told little white lies before. But eventually you have to own up to what you said or else the little white lies will pile up, causing a snowball effect.

A snowball effect, when you lie to cover up a previous lie. Each time you lie you roll your snowball up a hill. The snowball grows and grows until it gets too big (quote) and you can't push it anymore, and it rolls down the hill. And then all your lies come out. Lying is a no no in relationships.

Once you lie to your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, fuck buddy, you never gain that trust back. When you're in more than a business or platonic relationship you open yourself up to that person, you tell them things you wouldn't tell them if they were just friends. That's a special kind of trust that can never be gained back. At least in my opinion it can't. If my ex lied to me and I figured out he did, we couldn't be friends again.I mean who wants to be friends with a known liar?

Just try to always be honest, lying might seem like the way to go at the time. You might lie to make yourself look better, get out of trouble, look like the victim (hum like someone I know), or whatever your deluded reasoning is. Lying only  hurts you and the others involved. But it hurts you more, you can lose friends or boyfriends, or girlfriends because of it.

Ok that's all for today, love you guys and honesty is the best policy. Ha someone tell that to the US government!

-Rose <3

This summer I've been listening to some really weird music, to say the least. I've been listening to everything from Hey Monday, to Family Force 5, to Hey Monday, to Downtown Fiction, to The Cab, to Paramore, to Eminem, to Skillet, to BoA. Yeah it's pretty random, but that's a good thing. The more diverse the music you listen to is, the more likely you'll find someone who has the same favorite song. And who doesn't love to talk about their favorite song or band? I know I do. My summer playlist in no particular order is:

• Monster by Paramore
  
• Thanks for Nothing by Downtown Fiction
• I Don't Wanna Dance by Hey Monday
• How Do You Love Me Now by Hey Monday
• Disturbia by The Cab
• Wake the Dead by Family Force 5
• Earthquake by Family Force 5
• All of Eminem's old stuff.  Only Encore and back. New stuff is ok-ish but the old Eminem is, well for lack of a better phrase, FUCKING AMAZING.
• Did Ya by BoA
• Eat You Up by BoA
• Every Heart (Minna no Kimochi) by Boa. For the moments I just need a calming song.
• The Last Night by Skillet
• Monster by Skillet. That was my first Skillet song, ah memories. I gotta thank Turdle for having it on her Ipod, then having me fall in love with it.
• Don't Wake Me by Skillet
• New Enemy by Thousand Foot Krutch
• Swept Away by Flyleaf
• Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch. Sort of the theme song for life. It's about who everyone is living in a masquerade and not being who they are. But then the lead singer is the only one not wearing a mask, and being real.
  
• Courage by Orianthi featuring Lacey Mosley from Flyleaf

Ok and my top five (i which everyone needs to listen to are:

1. Monster by Paramore
2. Thanks for Nothing by Downtown Fiction
3. Wake the Dead by Family Force 5
4. I Don't Wanna Dance by Hey Monday
5. The Last Night by Skillet

Ok that's all for today. If Dina ever responds to me I'll have her post a blog. Love you guys, go check out my top five, they are amazing.

-Rose <3