It means healing will come. No matter what has happened to you in the past, sanationem veniet. Trust me, it will come. Not to say I'm completely healed. Some very bad an personal things have happened to me, and last night was the first night I ever admitted them to anyone. I've never told my mom, dad, grandma, brother, Alex, Tre, Kyla, or Cortne. I've only told Dina (thanks for listening girl. Love you!)
Anyways, we always have things from our past that are painful, dirty, and dark. I know I do. Sometimes you won't admit it to yourself (for almost nine years...), but once you find someone you trust enough and tell them, I don't know what it is but you instantly feel better. Like someone took this enormous weight off your chest. Trust me it's always best to find someone you trust and tell them. Carrying all that pain, hurt, and darkness is no way to live.
But healing isn't going to be instantaneous. There's that scared little girl or boy still afraid of the monster (the thing that hurt you). You gotta find that little kid in you and show them that the monster is gone. The monster can't hurt them. It will take a long time considering you buried that little kid deep inside, so they couldn't get hurt. It will take a long time, you won't be able to focus on any relationships besides the one with the little version of yourself.
I'm just avoiding dating or anything serious. I know because of what happened I put up walls to keep people out. Dina just finally got all the way in. No one else has made a dent in the slightest. I've got to learn how to love myself, and love normally. Not keeping everyone out. Until that happens I'll never have a good relationship. All I can say to my ex (if you are reading this) is that I'm sorry I even attempted having a relationship with you. I wish I had had this revelation with myself earlier. Maybe one day we can be friends, but I've got to learn how to be friends with myself.You waited 5 months or so for me to go out with you, you can wait a while longer. Anything I've said in this blog to you are retracted statements.
Back to my main point. It's always better to heal. If you have had something horrible happen to you the past, go find a trusted friend and tell them. It's always better. Ok I love you guys. Bye.
-Rose <3
Anyways, we always have things from our past that are painful, dirty, and dark. I know I do. Sometimes you won't admit it to yourself (for almost nine years...), but once you find someone you trust enough and tell them, I don't know what it is but you instantly feel better. Like someone took this enormous weight off your chest. Trust me it's always best to find someone you trust and tell them. Carrying all that pain, hurt, and darkness is no way to live.
But healing isn't going to be instantaneous. There's that scared little girl or boy still afraid of the monster (the thing that hurt you). You gotta find that little kid in you and show them that the monster is gone. The monster can't hurt them. It will take a long time considering you buried that little kid deep inside, so they couldn't get hurt. It will take a long time, you won't be able to focus on any relationships besides the one with the little version of yourself.
I'm just avoiding dating or anything serious. I know because of what happened I put up walls to keep people out. Dina just finally got all the way in. No one else has made a dent in the slightest. I've got to learn how to love myself, and love normally. Not keeping everyone out. Until that happens I'll never have a good relationship. All I can say to my ex (if you are reading this) is that I'm sorry I even attempted having a relationship with you. I wish I had had this revelation with myself earlier. Maybe one day we can be friends, but I've got to learn how to be friends with myself.You waited 5 months or so for me to go out with you, you can wait a while longer. Anything I've said in this blog to you are retracted statements.
Back to my main point. It's always better to heal. If you have had something horrible happen to you the past, go find a trusted friend and tell them. It's always better. Ok I love you guys. Bye.
-Rose <3
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