Gah, yes I know, DINA HAS UPDATED!!! I know some people have died from heart attacks, and instantaneous random attacks of rabies infected frosted flakes right now but the world has NOT ended. Ok now to the point of this blog.

I'm not sorry, I'm laughing my ass off. Brandonio and I were talking and then this nigga tries to ask me out again. O_-  Really? Yes really. That was how my face looked too, surprised, and 'what this nigga doing???' He and I went out twice (technically, the second time was for like seven hours), and it didn't work. HOW THE FUCK WOULD IT WORK NOW?!?!?!?!?!?! So I told him no and he got pissy and ended the conversation with

"Damn i was ask to see u agian damn i moving and wont every see u again i would make for u but fuck it talk to whenever"

Yeah. So I think this blog can end here. Love you guys bye.

-Rose <3

I hate promising people things, hate it. Cause the second I make a promise, I know I can't keep it. Maybe people are asking too much of me and I don't notice until it's too late? Who knows? But now, all I can say is this.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made that promise to you, and I can't keep it. I'm sorry I wish I could take it back. I wish we could still just be us, luchshie druzʹya, nothing more, nothing less. That 'it' never happened. I hate to admit it, but I miss you. I miss my luchshiĭ drug, more than anything. But, I can't risk it, I want to, but I just don't know.

One day I'm so sure of everything, next, I'm questioning everything I do. Nothing is ever right. At first I was so sure I didn't want my luchshiĭ drug. Now, I'd give anything for you to be my luchshiĭ drug again. I don't know if you still read this, but if you do, I miss my luchshiĭ drug.

-Rose <3

If you only knew how to earn my forgiveness. One, be sincere. Two, catch me by surprise. No way can I accept an apology in my right (wrong???) mind. You have to catch me not paying attention, or something.

Reason behind this blog, I made up with my ex. Lets call him Brandonio.... O____o. Anyways, he was sending me picture messages. My phone won't accept picture messages because my dad is a cheap ass and won't pay for data.  So after about three or so I texted him and was like "do you need something???" He said no, and then we talked for like.... 2 1/2 to 3 hours. No joke. We texted, called each other. YES repeat, called each other.

We were talking and then out of the blue he said he was sorry for all the bullshit that happened between us. I forgave him because he sounded sincere, and if you know him, as some of you do, that is not like him. And, he caught me off guard.

Yeah young love and relationships are weird, to say the least. One day everything is fine, next you're looking back, seeing all the mistakes you made, wishing you could fix them. But, there's no rewind button on life, only play, and stop. I'm too young to press stop, so my only option, is to press play.

Love you guys.

-Rose <3

Anyone guess what that song is from? What about you Bobbypins ;D. Hehe, inside joke folks don't worry about it. Anyways I have my ipod on shuffle and that song came on and it made me think.

Do you remember all those times I remember?
All the smiles,
all the fun times,
all the times you stood by me,
all the times you were the only thing keeping me from slitting my wrist?
Do you?
Because I do.

I remember them all.
Every smile I shared with you.
How you would light up whenever I walked near.
How I would brighten up too.
I remember you being the only one who could make me smile.
I remember when you said I make your life worth living.
I remember how you stopped cutting because I asked you too,
I was too afraid to lose you, so you stopped, just for me.
Do you remember?
Because I remember each vivid detail.

Do you remember when we stopped being there for each other?
Do you remember how much it hurt, not just for me, but you too?
I know it had to hurt, cause I thought I'd never see a bright day again.
I thought I'd live in days of gloom and heartbreak forever,
with no one to pull me out.
No one to play my favorite songs to make me laugh,
quote comedians with, and give me a hug exactly when I need it.
Do you remember?
Because I sure as hell do.

But I see bright days again,
no matter how much you meant to me then,
you can never be that again.
You left me in the dark,
and I found the light by myself.
Deep down inside I still care about you,
but I'm happy now so I don't want you anymore.
But still, do you remember our amazing times.
Because I remember baby.

Our times together were some of my best.
But now it's time for even better ones,
so I still care about you,
but I,
am done.

Done.
Wishing those days back,
reminiscing the past.
I still care,
but baby,
those days are done.
So I'm gone.

There's no particular order to these songs.

• Gorgeous Nightmare- Escape the Fate
• Fuck You- Cee Lo Green
• You're Going Down- Sick Puppies
• If You Only Knew- Shinedown
• Le Deux- Hollywood Undead
• Radiator- Family Force 5
• Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day
• Savin' Me- Nickelback
• Ignorance- Paramore
• Fences- Paramore
• Hell Yeah- Rev Theory
• The Strength To Go On- Rise Against
• Re-Education (Through Labor)- Rise Against
• But Tonight We Dance- Rise Against
• Possibility- BoA
  

Those are my favorites for October. I have very random taste, from J-Pop to R&B to Rock to Alternative. I'm so weird. Hehe. Ok I'm going to go, check out those songs!

Love you guys!

-Rose <3

If you can guess what song that's from, I will love you forever. For reals. Yes neither Dina nor I have died yet, surprisingly. I'm surprised because it's amazing we haven't been crushed by our bags, or killed each other yet, yay virtual cookies for us! ^^ Anyways nothing serious has happened  recently. I had my first debate tourny of the year last weekend. I did ok considering I got thrown into an event barely a week before.

Anyways I'm so weird :D. Hum just the usual bullshit and drama has been going on, nothing much. Let us see if I can think of a poem or thought provoking blog to write for you.

Ok got it, nothing lasts forever.

Nothing lasts forever,
that's just how life is.

You fight for love,
you may win,
and then lose.

Nothing lasts forever,
that's just how life is.

You strive for happiness,
you fall into a black hole,
and try to find you way back.

Nothing lasts forever,
that's just how life is.

You make a close friend,
you love them like a sibling,
and then they leaving you in the dust.

Nothing lasts forever,
that's just how life is.

Ok that's all for today my darling readers. I love you guys! :))))

-Rose <333333

Parents. From ages 0-10 you love them to death. From 11-29 you hate them. And supposedly from 30-whenever you love them. Yeah right, oops did I say that? Oh of course you love them, because they're so perfect. Did anyone smell that? Oh that's the sarcasm permeating the air.

Yeah things on the parent front isn't so good. They're fighting a lot, my dad hasn't been home all day. And by all day I legit mean all day. My brother knows something is up, and he's worried. My fucking mom won't tell me what's wrong, and it's pissing me off.

I don't give a shit if they're fighting, I grew up with my mom fighting with her boyfriend before my step dad. Fight all the fuck you want, just keep it quiet, and not when there are people over. (It's so white trash when people do that and my mother has done that before when I was younger, soooo embarrassing. Just FYI my mom and step dad are white. My biological father is black, white, and Puerto Rican).I just don't want them fighting in front of my brother. The second that happens they're gonna figure about the fact I curse like a sailor. Well actually, I make a sailor look like a saint.

I swear to whatever god or whatever it is that you guys believe in, if that happens shit is gonna hit the fan. My brother is still innocent, he's a kid. He's never had an adult hit him for no reason. Or make him go to bed without eating. Or hurting him. He's never seen two adults fight, throwing shit, yelling and cursing. I have. I don't care if they do it when I'm home, but I'm extremely protective of my brother, I think I'm worse than an older brother with a younger sister.

If they do that, I'm sure as hell not living here. I'll stay with an aunt, or cousin, or who the fuck ever. I'm not about to let my brother or I live in that situation. Been there done that, once was enough for me, and my brother was too young to remember, so he doesn't need to see it.

Well I hope things are going better with you guys, lets keep going strong, holding our heads high, fighting back the tears, and smiling and laughing to forget the hurt. I'm trying, you try too. Four times out of ten it works, that percentage is good enough for me so go on try it.

Love you guys, bye. :)

-Rose <3

Skillet, it amazes me how much I can relate to your music. You're hardcore Christians and I'm hardcore atheist, but your songs are so relatable, I love it! Anyways hey guys, it's your lovely Rose :). I've been listening to Skillet non stop for about a week now. Before that it was Family Force 5. And the week before that Hollywood Undead. Yes I listen to such weird music, don't forget about my obsession with Japanese music :D.

I just, well have no real point to write about, just felt the need to blog. Ok I thought of my topic for the blog. Here it goes:

Choices

Trust me in life there will always be choices you made you'll regret. Not asking out the guy or girl you like. Falling for the wrong person. Wearing that horrible neon yellow shirt that made you look like a raver. We all make bad choices, it's part of human nature. And if you think you don't make bad choices either you're delusion, and you should see a doctor; or you're not being completely honest with yourself.

Just take ten minutes, only ten or so. Just sit there, and think. Think about all the friends, lovers, and people you've lost because of a bad choice. I've made a ton of them, trust me. I've been doing this a lot recently, making bad choices, and reflecting on those choices. Some choices I've made, may of not been the best for the other party, but in the end once my heartache stopped, it was the best for me.

As you all know, I don't open up to people. I've never opened up to ANYONE completely, ever, not even to Dina. So when I care about someone, in any sort of way, it hurts to let them go. To have to forever live with the fact that that person isn't in your life anymore. But usually if you've made a drastic choice like that, then it was most likely for the best. Maybe not for that person but for yourself.

And when I get those instances to think about things, it makes me realize that every bad choice I've made is a chance to grow and develop as a person. Losing a best friend, it may of hurt like hell, but in the end getting rid of all the bad things in your life is always best to do, even if it hurts. To me losing a friend is the WORST thing ever. My friends are my family because I don't get along with my actual family. So losing one is like pulling the plug on a family member who's on life support.

Ok well I think I'm done with this topic. That song the title is from is called 'Lucy' by Skillet. It is one of the most amazing songs ever written. I love it and I love all my readers. Oh and a new chapter on my RPG should be up soon, working on a rewrite of the second chapter from Blaze's point of view, and the fourth chapter.

Love you guys for like EVA!!!! :DDDDDDD

-Rose, who's finally <3

I find it amazing how Dina and I can switch personalities so quickly. Back some time ago (I don't remember exactly when) she was in the same place I am, and I was in the one she was. Now, it's opposite. Oh and Dina I don't rag on the readers, I rag on the world. So if any reader is offended by something I write please leave a message at our complaint department, aka our Facebook.

If a reader feels offended in any way then:

A) You're one of the people I'm talking about, so I don't care.
B) You're the same type of person I'm talking about, so I REALLY don't care.
C) You're overtly sensitive, so I'm actually sorry.
D) You're the type of person who likes to complain, well I don't like your face so meh XP (wow worse come back ever).
E) IDK just wanted to use the letter 'E'. Venting makes me feel better, so my mood has slightly improved.

Well now I'm actually gonna go, and try to heed some of Dina's advice, considering she's probably too busy with Mr. Fuck Shit Piece Of Shit to deal with my agnsty mood right now to talk to me. Oh well that's life, it moves to fast and the ones that can't keep up get left behind in the dust.

-Rose

and just another slightly (extremely) agnsty blog. Great I know. -_- Well I'm still not ok I guess, just nothing seems to be going right and every time someone tries to help they just completely turn it back to themselves. For example my friend 'Megan' was trying to get me out of my bad mood, and she said, and I quote "We're in this together. I'm stressed and confused." And then it went on. Well how the fuck does that help me? Woohoo you're stressed and confused, yes tell me more. You don't know my problems or what's going on so that's not helping me at all, we've all got problems but when one of us is seriously depressed and had barely said more than 50 words today, I think that might, for once, take priority over your shiz. Just sayin.

Yes as you can see I'm getting no help on the friend front. And the family front isn't doing much better. The second I get in the car my mother is bitching me out about something, so much fun.... NOT!!!!
I'm actually going to bed early just to avoid talking to people, and today I didn't really talk until debate started after school. (I only talked in debate because I had to help the Public Forum novices learn how to do shit since I was the only varsity kid there).

I hate when I just need to be left alone, and then all people want to do is worry over me. 99% of you so called 'friends' don't know anything about my life. And that 1% doesn't even know everything. So that one percent is only one person who can bother me when I need to be alone (her name rhymes with Mena), and she was respectful and just let me work it out myself. Everyone else was bugging me with "what's wrong?" "are you ok?"

No you fucking idiots, you guys are bothering me! You people rarely give a flying shit about me or my life, and the second I let it show how sad I am, then you people want to come and try to be a friend? That's not how friendship works. Friendship is when you're always there no matter what, and never leave. Ever. I can't stand most of you people at my school, so just leave me alone. I have my ipod, my writing, and my internet connection, I seriously don't need you.

Someone who's older than me and is reading this blog, please tell me after high school it gets better. Cause if it doesn't get better once my four (now three) years are up, then there will be a big problem for me. But there's no possible way that life could get worse than this. I'm already hanging on by a silk thread. If it gets worse, well, it's going to be a lot worse for me.

I'm going to go guys. Just remember that even if no one gives a shit about me, that doesn't mean it's the same for you. Use this blog to remember that someone does have it worse than you do. And if your life is truthfully worse than mine, then use it so you know there is a step up (even if this step is a shitty step). Bye.

-Rose </3