Matt Kearney. Great song. Check him out.
And Rose, "cause that bass makes that bitch cum"? Best line ever? Um. Yeah, okay. Our taste in music has reached a fork in the road and they've obviously taken completely different paths. It's okay though. I still love you.

SO.
Over the past week, I have learned a valuable lesson. 
Any guesses on what it could be?

* jeopardy music *

No?
Okay, I'll just tell you.

  So for all my life I held back my feelings and never expressed what was actually on my mind to people. Thanks to Dom, I was convinced that I shouldn't do that and I should be straightforward and all that crap. So a little experimenting made me come up with the conclusions that
1) I cry like no other if I actually express my feelings
2) Other people are hurt by my opinions (that's why I hold them back)
3) and other stuff I can't really sum up neatly.

  THEREFORE, I should continue doing what I did and be an emotionless robot. It may not benefit me that much, but it benefits everybody around me.
yay, conclusions.

-Dina.

I seriously lack motivation.
















-dina

  You know what really blows?
What really, really, blows? 
 
When you're just sitting in bed, watching tv, enjoying some nice strawberry applesauce and you realize....

"Hey...the world sucks."

  There's so much pain and suffering in the world. Way more than my generation is capable of fixing (which is what we're being expected to do by everyone)

  There's only so much that we can do. We're still kids. Act as grown up as we can, we're still kids. Sure we have ideas and, granted, some of them are amazing, but who's really going to listen to us? There's all this pressure on us to fix the crappy economy, stop world hunger, genocides, wars of terror, and everything. But that's like asking us to stop natural disasters.
Completely impossible.

And to all you "omg, we can totally do it if we set our mind to it and try really really hard!" people, no. Just...no. You can't fix everything. Thinking you can do so is entirely stupid and you need to have a reality check.

Lately, when my friends have been coming to me with their problems I can't help but think
 "Oh. He doesn't like you. How sad. Are you currently being raped and are your rights being cut off from you by your government? No? Oh."
It makes me feel heartless, but honestly! Who cares if Johny doesn't like you! You don't need him! GET OVER IT.
Yes, I realize everybody has their own seperate problems and the severity of them depends on the person...but still...
shutup.

I wish the world sucked less. I wish there were more people who cared for helping third world countries rather than the drama of a washed-up celebrity. I wish that more people would listen to those trying to help. I wish everybody in the world would just stop what they're doing at this exact moment, think to themselves,
"What is the purpose of hating and hurting others?"
and just resort to peace.

sigh.
maybe one day.
probably not, but maybe.

-dina.

 So...it's Monday. Why am I pointing out this obvious fact? I don't know. I felt like it. Small talk, perhaps? Even though you can't really talk back...
I didn't go to school today! The bus was about 13 minutes late, I was feeling crappy, so my dad said "whatever" and let me stay home! Sometimes, you just have to love that old man.
 On the downside, I am stuck home with nothing to do but work that I was going to put off 'til next week.
 I suppose I could study for my finals this week, but who studies these days? Pffft, nerds. Who needs to pass Chemistry to be successful these days? Pfft, nobody.

(and I'm definitely not passing my chemistry final)

Hm, this is a bit awkward. I find myself not knowing what to tell you guys seeing as life has sort of just been gliding by, not making any noise. Huh...

*backs away slowly*

*runs away*

-dina.

 Great song. Then again, any song by Ed Sheeran is a great song.

Okay, so, I had a project to do for English and it included reading a world literature book and completing a series of assignments that go along with it. I chose to read The Book Thief (well, I sorta already read it before....but...whatever) and one of the assignments was to write a 20 line poem about the book.
  I chose to write about a certain character in the book, Max. He was a Jew that served in war (not WWII) and I think that his family died while he was there...? I don't remember. I just know that he lost them and he got caught in Nazi Germany and was in a jail like thing for years before one of his old friends, Hans, smuggled him into the basement of his house.
So..um. Yeah. I wrote a poem about him and if you know me, you know that I SUCK AT POEMS.
This one wasn't thaaaat bad so I decided to share it with you guys. (whoever still keeps up with this blog)

[untitled]

Funny how life works.
At first, there's no one there for you,
Not a single soul.
You're left on this earth all alone,
Having to defend yourself and watch your own back.

You don't need people anymore,
You're done crying for help.
You and solitude are intimate friends.
The thought of family is in the past,
With all your other crushed dreams.

But then, out of nowhere, there's hope,
A tiny shimmering light of hope;
That you won't be alone anymore,
That someone will be there for you,
That you'll finally know the meaning of family.

The tiny shimmering light grows.
It turns into a blinding ray,
Bringing tears to your eyes
As you accept other's affection and declare
"I'm home."

-Dina.
--have a nice day.

  Appropriate blog title, thank you A Rocket To The Moon.
So, 3:45 am of December 30th, 2011....a huge shocker happened. I'm still not quite sure of my feelings. I know I'm happy, definitely happy, but...also a tad bit worried? I'm not this person. Or...maybe I am and I just never realized it. I never thought I would be this person. I don't know if it's for better or not....well, we'll see in due time I suppose.
  Sorry, I know that made no sense to you. Just me going on and on as usual.

A LOT OF THINGS TO BE CAUGHT UP ON BEFORE THIS BLOG ACTUALLY STARTS!
1) I'll make sure to remind Rose to write a blog soon. She has been slacking lately! Shame, Rose!
2) I hope you guys had a nice Christmas :) or if you don't celebrate, I hope you had a nice winter break! No school! Woo!
3) Ed Sheeran is officially my favorite artist.
4) Rose dyed her hair blue. Yeah, I know right? She's awesome!

Okay, moving on.

  I recently discovered that I care far too much about what people think about me. I'm always worried about whether they like me, or will like me.
I'm not a total insecure mess though, that only applies to the people that I like...which, to be honest, is still a lot of people.
  That includes people that I like from the internet, even though they don't know me and will probably never know me. SO WHY THE HELL DO I CARE SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. THIS NEEDS TO CEASE.

  Whenever one of my friends say something along the line of
1)"Ugh omg, I hate when *insert something that people do*"
or
2)"Ugh omg, I hate *insert my favorite band here*" 

Let me take you through my mental process when someone says that.

 1) Omg omg omg. Do I do that? No! Of course I don't do that! Why would they still hang out with me if I did that? They would have said something, right? Or do they secretly abhor me because I do said thing without realizing I did it? AHH. THEY HATE ME. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I'M GONNA BE A CAT LADY. Wait, I don't like cats that much....I'M GONNA BE A TURTLE LADY. NEVER DO SAID THING EVER AGAIN.
 2) What? What? What? What? What? You hate my favorite band?! What's wrong with you?! ARE YOU DEAF?! DO YOU NOT REALIZE THEIR AMAZINGNESS?! WHAT. Wait....if you hate them, you hate people who listen to them. Do you know that I listen to them? Do you hate me? YOU MUST NEVER FIND OUT. 

and yeah. that's pretty much how it goes...
I'm crazy and I overthink things, I know. 

-Dina.  

 Stop lying about such a stupid thing. I mean honestly, who lies about that? It's not like you have anything to be embarrassed about and nobody is going to think less of you. Hell, if you don't want to tell everyone else at least tell me! I know you too well for you to be lying to me at this point. I know you so well that the lie you're trying to pull off is absolute bullshit.
Aggravating...

People, stop lying about little things that don't need to be lied about. For the sake of me and the rest of humanity, please and thank you.

-some random chick.

DUDES.
It's my birthday.

PARTAYYY TIMEEEE *runs around house with lamp shade on*

yeah. idk what else to write. i'll update later on in life after i resurface from the mass amount of homework i'm currently drowning under.

It's been over a month since the last time I blogged.
Apology letters are being sent out to you all as I type.

Anyway, something recently has happened in my friend's life and I just want to talk about it with you guys a little bit.

Ladies, have you ever cared about a guy so much and then out of no where he dumped you? Well that's what happened to my friend, but the thing is, they're still friends. They socialize with each other, joke around and whatnot. You know what else they do? *cough* I'm going to let you guess.
 
Please don't be one of those girls that guys go to only for certain things. It's not respectable at all. I know I know, you just want to be close, but is it really going to benefit you in the long run? I mean, think about it.
He dumped you.
He talked shit about you. (in my friend's case, at least)
He's a player. (again, in my friend's case)
He's just using you for things.
HE HURT YOU.

  If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you disrepect yourself like that, by being friends with benefits. Honestly, it benefits no one in the long run.
Complex emotions form, fighting words are thrown out, tears are spilt, and in the end...you guys can't even think about the option of being just friends.
I know you care about him and want to be close to him, but don't do this to yourself. Don't think he wants you back. If he wanted you back, he would have said so. Tell him the thing is over. Tell him that you guys are going to have a normal friendship. Please. For your sake?

-Dina.

  No, I wasn't murdered! Shockingly enough.
(ahh I frickin' love the song on right now and it's like frickin' inspiring me to write this blog. frickin' frick frick. :)
Okay, first I want to say that, no, you guys aren't stupid ass'. Rose is just going through a bad time, so excuse whatever she may say to you. By the way, this is going to be a semi long blog.
Anyway,

Life...is good. Yeah yeah, there are little things every day that annoy me, or I hear about some drama, but when I step back to look upon that day or week...it's good. I didn't die, I didn't catch a deadly disease, my mom is alive, my friends are alive, I'm getting my education, and I'm actually going somewhere in life. All those little annoying things, and that drama, is going to mean nothing to you in 20 years. They're just going to be funny stories you tell to your co-workers.
Yes, things have happened to me in the past that would leave anyone broken, but I can't do anything about it now. It's the past. I need to forgive and move on, which I have for the most part.
 
I don't exactly know how to phrase this, but I think the only way you can be truly happy and satisfied with life is when you take a step back and realize that it could be so much worse.
You could be in the street, having to beg for food just to survive. You could be an orphan being beat by foster parents. You get the point.

Also, I don't mean for this to sound mean, but when you're sad, complaining and whining about everything is definitely not going to help. I mean yeah, sure, it's natural for people to do that, hell even I do it, but when you constantly complain....it's just not going to solve anything. If you want change in your life, you need to enforce change. No one else is in control of your life, even if it seems that way, it's all yours to change. If you want to dye your hair, do it. If you want to flunk a class, do it. If you want to become a doctor, do it.
I'm not saying there aren't going to be obstacles in your way, because there most likely will be some, but if you really want something then you need to go for it and put in your best.
Anyway,

If you want to be happy, you can be.
Friends weighing you down? Get rid of them, you'll make better ones.
Dad pissing you off? Too young to move out? Kill him. Kidding, just stay out of his way.
Dislike yourself? .....why? You're amazing. Someone out there loves you, and they have a reason. It's because you are magnificant to them.
Someone dislikes you? Who cares, not everyone is going to like you. It's probably for a pathetic reason anyway.

When something is making you unhappy to the point where you think "I'm depressed, life sucks because of this. I don't want to continue living." get rid of it, leave it behind and move on. Don't let it keep you from the happiness you deserve.

Sounds too hard? It's really not.

--Dina ♥