Wow amazing how much life can change in less than a month. Since that last blog post so many things have changed. That person I was ranting at (sorry if you read that dude) are cool, better than cool, friends again. Super happy face time :DDDDDDD

Haha sorry I'm just in a good mood, and I had sugar. But I completely do not understand how to do my algebra II homework, FUCK!!!!!! But anyways it's all pretty cool. Trying to think about something in my life that's blog worthy. Oh I started a NaNoWriMo story. For all you lame, I mean epically cool.... :D people that don't know what that is, it stands for National Novel Writing Month. If you wanna read it go to Boooksie.com and type in Maddie Carr.

Ugh I'm horrible I know but I don't feel like writing. Love you guys, I'll get Dina to blog this Sunday when I go over.

-Rose <333333

Fuck you. Yes I said it, been wanting to say it to you forever. Fuck you, fuck all your bullshit, fuck all your lies, fuck all your two faced bullshit, fuck anything having to do with you. But it's all my fault isn't it? I forgot that in the word FOREVER there was also the word OVER. You lying piece of shit.

You know what? I always say I never lie, but I have told one lie. Wanna know what it was? It was me saying I love you to you. The only time I've lied. I don't even love you as a fellow human being, much less as a friend. How can you even be polite and nice to me to my face, but behind my back you're talking shit?!?! How the fuck does that work? I would be your friend, I really wish I could, honest, but you are too much of an insecure punk ass to be friends with. How did I EVER stand being friends with you? I must of been drunk. You know what? Next time you wanna talk shit, say it to my face. If you're so big you can say it behind my back then say it to my face.

Ha, yeah right, you won't. Sometimes it's easy to forget that you're an insecure worthless piece of shit. It's sad really. I don't see how someone can be so low and pathetic. If I feel anything for you anymore it's either contempt or sad for you. I hope you mature up because you can't continue in life acting like this immature child. Just because 99.9% of high schoolers act like immature bratty bitches doesn't mean you have to or should.

I really do hope you learn from this. Honestly your life will improve so much if you do. Bye.

-Rose

You know what I hate? I hate when you're having an amazing day, for once you're happy and loving life. Then a song comes up on shuffle that sucker punches you in the gut, leaving you gasping for breath, and completely fucked up. Fucking song.... -_______-

I mean this stupid song just ruined my day, completely fucked it up. And I've been singing it in my head since I heard it, which is not helping my mood. Stupid song knocked the breath out of me, left me out of wack, and missing that person more than ever. Fuck, I'm going to bed. And tomorrow a nice blog about the nightmare brought on by that fucking song! Yay! :D..........X(((((.

Love you guys.

-Rose <3

Gah, yes I know, DINA HAS UPDATED!!! I know some people have died from heart attacks, and instantaneous random attacks of rabies infected frosted flakes right now but the world has NOT ended. Ok now to the point of this blog.

I'm not sorry, I'm laughing my ass off. Brandonio and I were talking and then this nigga tries to ask me out again. O_-  Really? Yes really. That was how my face looked too, surprised, and 'what this nigga doing???' He and I went out twice (technically, the second time was for like seven hours), and it didn't work. HOW THE FUCK WOULD IT WORK NOW?!?!?!?!?!?! So I told him no and he got pissy and ended the conversation with

"Damn i was ask to see u agian damn i moving and wont every see u again i would make for u but fuck it talk to whenever"

Yeah. So I think this blog can end here. Love you guys bye.

-Rose <3

I hate promising people things, hate it. Cause the second I make a promise, I know I can't keep it. Maybe people are asking too much of me and I don't notice until it's too late? Who knows? But now, all I can say is this.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made that promise to you, and I can't keep it. I'm sorry I wish I could take it back. I wish we could still just be us, luchshie druzʹya, nothing more, nothing less. That 'it' never happened. I hate to admit it, but I miss you. I miss my luchshiĭ drug, more than anything. But, I can't risk it, I want to, but I just don't know.

One day I'm so sure of everything, next, I'm questioning everything I do. Nothing is ever right. At first I was so sure I didn't want my luchshiĭ drug. Now, I'd give anything for you to be my luchshiĭ drug again. I don't know if you still read this, but if you do, I miss my luchshiĭ drug.

-Rose <3

If you only knew how to earn my forgiveness. One, be sincere. Two, catch me by surprise. No way can I accept an apology in my right (wrong???) mind. You have to catch me not paying attention, or something.

Reason behind this blog, I made up with my ex. Lets call him Brandonio.... O____o. Anyways, he was sending me picture messages. My phone won't accept picture messages because my dad is a cheap ass and won't pay for data.  So after about three or so I texted him and was like "do you need something???" He said no, and then we talked for like.... 2 1/2 to 3 hours. No joke. We texted, called each other. YES repeat, called each other.

We were talking and then out of the blue he said he was sorry for all the bullshit that happened between us. I forgave him because he sounded sincere, and if you know him, as some of you do, that is not like him. And, he caught me off guard.

Yeah young love and relationships are weird, to say the least. One day everything is fine, next you're looking back, seeing all the mistakes you made, wishing you could fix them. But, there's no rewind button on life, only play, and stop. I'm too young to press stop, so my only option, is to press play.

Love you guys.

-Rose <3

Anyone guess what that song is from? What about you Bobbypins ;D. Hehe, inside joke folks don't worry about it. Anyways I have my ipod on shuffle and that song came on and it made me think.

Do you remember all those times I remember?
All the smiles,
all the fun times,
all the times you stood by me,
all the times you were the only thing keeping me from slitting my wrist?
Do you?
Because I do.

I remember them all.
Every smile I shared with you.
How you would light up whenever I walked near.
How I would brighten up too.
I remember you being the only one who could make me smile.
I remember when you said I make your life worth living.
I remember how you stopped cutting because I asked you too,
I was too afraid to lose you, so you stopped, just for me.
Do you remember?
Because I remember each vivid detail.

Do you remember when we stopped being there for each other?
Do you remember how much it hurt, not just for me, but you too?
I know it had to hurt, cause I thought I'd never see a bright day again.
I thought I'd live in days of gloom and heartbreak forever,
with no one to pull me out.
No one to play my favorite songs to make me laugh,
quote comedians with, and give me a hug exactly when I need it.
Do you remember?
Because I sure as hell do.

But I see bright days again,
no matter how much you meant to me then,
you can never be that again.
You left me in the dark,
and I found the light by myself.
Deep down inside I still care about you,
but I'm happy now so I don't want you anymore.
But still, do you remember our amazing times.
Because I remember baby.

Our times together were some of my best.
But now it's time for even better ones,
so I still care about you,
but I,
am done.

Done.
Wishing those days back,
reminiscing the past.
I still care,
but baby,
those days are done.
So I'm gone.

There's no particular order to these songs.

• Gorgeous Nightmare- Escape the Fate
• Fuck You- Cee Lo Green
• You're Going Down- Sick Puppies
• If You Only Knew- Shinedown
• Le Deux- Hollywood Undead
• Radiator- Family Force 5
• Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day
• Savin' Me- Nickelback
• Ignorance- Paramore
• Fences- Paramore
• Hell Yeah- Rev Theory
• The Strength To Go On- Rise Against
• Re-Education (Through Labor)- Rise Against
• But Tonight We Dance- Rise Against
• Possibility- BoA
  

Those are my favorites for October. I have very random taste, from J-Pop to R&B to Rock to Alternative. I'm so weird. Hehe. Ok I'm going to go, check out those songs!

Love you guys!

-Rose <3