Dear anyone and everyone,
Well folks, Rose is back. Sorry no thought provoking blog, allergies completely throw the writer's schizophrenia out of wack. Just a blurb about how my life's going. Don't like it? Fucking deal with it bitch. One, it's all you're getting. Two, it's more than Dina's blogging, so be glad you're getting anything. Three, I don't give a fuck what you think you bastard so shut the hell up, you stupid ass.
Yeah, as you can see, I'm not in a good mood. So many fucking reasons, jesus. Does bullshit ever stop? One second shit happens, it clears up, and then something else comes up. Maybe I'm just hanging with the wrong people. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm putting myself in the middle of bullshit. Maybe all my bad karma is catching up with me. I don't fucking know.
All I do know is that right now at 3:36pm, the sky is grey and dreary, matching my mood. I'm already worn out, tired of life at 14. And I'm more stressed than I have ever been. It's not getting any better, and I don't see it getting better anytime soon. Life sucks, and it just needs to end. At least this chapter, I'm tired of being sad and depressed, pretending to be happy or lying and saying I'm fine when all I want to do is scream, yell, and cry. But I don't know how to get out, I guess this is what abusive relationships are like.
It's sad ya know? That at 14 I'm all ready to just die? What has this world come to where a 14 year old girl is convincing herself that there is worth and the world, and there are still good people out there. But in reality, there are no good people and no one really knows you, or sees how low you've gone until it's too late. I'm screaming silently at you right now, not with my words but with my eyes. The eyes are the gate way to the soul. Do you see the ghoulish depths, all the pain and misery? Do you see those tears I want to spill, but they won't fall, because I was raised to believe crying is for the weak. But I should be crying, I am weak. I'm barely holding on as it is, can't you see?
No, no you don't. You don't see these tears, or the pain in my eyes. All you see is that fake smile I wear, and the sarcasm I use to hide my pain. Do you just not see it, blind because you're so sheltered by your as-close-to-a-prefect-life-as-humanly-possible? Or, do you just not care enough.
Ah there it is, you don't care enough. I'm wearing my pain like a second skin, any idiot can see it. But you'd rather live your life, not seeing my pain, my tears, or the thin thread that's barely keeping me held on. Thanks, thanks for caring. Just leave me to wallow, wallow in my pain. Yes you're such a great person, you should win a medal.
I'm tired of people, tired of this life. I don't want to deal with anyone. I want to throw my phone away, any form of communication, get some money, and leave. Screw school, you can't jobs anyways in this economy. Screw family, they're part of the problem. Screw friends, the biggest part of the problem. I can only stand 5 of my friends, the rest of you just annoy me, I don't like talking to you or dealing with you, just go away and leave me alone!!!! Screw everyone else, I don't know exactly why but I know you've got a friend in the same dark place as me and you do absolutely nothing to help them. You're just as bad as the people in my life.
That's really all I have to say, fuck off and never talk to me again. No one is worth it, no one is. Everyone who says they'll love you forvever, whether it be you're father, mom, step dad, friends, or who ever they'll leave. So screw them, I'm done with it all. Take your problems else where, cause I'm done being burdened by you. I want to live, not keep being so stressed and having a knife poised at my wrist ready to strike. I refuse to die.
So, who's it gonna be? Your problems, or me living.
Knowing you.... it'll be your problems.
Thanks for loving me.
Truly yours,
Evanishing Rose </3
Well folks, Rose is back. Sorry no thought provoking blog, allergies completely throw the writer's schizophrenia out of wack. Just a blurb about how my life's going. Don't like it? Fucking deal with it bitch. One, it's all you're getting. Two, it's more than Dina's blogging, so be glad you're getting anything. Three, I don't give a fuck what you think you bastard so shut the hell up, you stupid ass.
Yeah, as you can see, I'm not in a good mood. So many fucking reasons, jesus. Does bullshit ever stop? One second shit happens, it clears up, and then something else comes up. Maybe I'm just hanging with the wrong people. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm putting myself in the middle of bullshit. Maybe all my bad karma is catching up with me. I don't fucking know.
All I do know is that right now at 3:36pm, the sky is grey and dreary, matching my mood. I'm already worn out, tired of life at 14. And I'm more stressed than I have ever been. It's not getting any better, and I don't see it getting better anytime soon. Life sucks, and it just needs to end. At least this chapter, I'm tired of being sad and depressed, pretending to be happy or lying and saying I'm fine when all I want to do is scream, yell, and cry. But I don't know how to get out, I guess this is what abusive relationships are like.
It's sad ya know? That at 14 I'm all ready to just die? What has this world come to where a 14 year old girl is convincing herself that there is worth and the world, and there are still good people out there. But in reality, there are no good people and no one really knows you, or sees how low you've gone until it's too late. I'm screaming silently at you right now, not with my words but with my eyes. The eyes are the gate way to the soul. Do you see the ghoulish depths, all the pain and misery? Do you see those tears I want to spill, but they won't fall, because I was raised to believe crying is for the weak. But I should be crying, I am weak. I'm barely holding on as it is, can't you see?
No, no you don't. You don't see these tears, or the pain in my eyes. All you see is that fake smile I wear, and the sarcasm I use to hide my pain. Do you just not see it, blind because you're so sheltered by your as-close-to-a-prefect-life-as-humanly-possible? Or, do you just not care enough.
Ah there it is, you don't care enough. I'm wearing my pain like a second skin, any idiot can see it. But you'd rather live your life, not seeing my pain, my tears, or the thin thread that's barely keeping me held on. Thanks, thanks for caring. Just leave me to wallow, wallow in my pain. Yes you're such a great person, you should win a medal.
I'm tired of people, tired of this life. I don't want to deal with anyone. I want to throw my phone away, any form of communication, get some money, and leave. Screw school, you can't jobs anyways in this economy. Screw family, they're part of the problem. Screw friends, the biggest part of the problem. I can only stand 5 of my friends, the rest of you just annoy me, I don't like talking to you or dealing with you, just go away and leave me alone!!!! Screw everyone else, I don't know exactly why but I know you've got a friend in the same dark place as me and you do absolutely nothing to help them. You're just as bad as the people in my life.
That's really all I have to say, fuck off and never talk to me again. No one is worth it, no one is. Everyone who says they'll love you forvever, whether it be you're father, mom, step dad, friends, or who ever they'll leave. So screw them, I'm done with it all. Take your problems else where, cause I'm done being burdened by you. I want to live, not keep being so stressed and having a knife poised at my wrist ready to strike. I refuse to die.
So, who's it gonna be? Your problems, or me living.
Knowing you.... it'll be your problems.
Thanks for loving me.
Truly yours,
Evanishing Rose </3
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